Predatory Massage Clients
By the Massage Ethics Council: Laura Allen, Ben E. Benjamin, Beverley Giroud, Nathan
Nordstrom, and Cherie Sohnen-Moe
Editor’s note: This article is the second in a series on how to adhere to the safest
standards of care in massage therapy. Developed by the Massage Ethics Council, a
volunteer group dedicated to sharing clear, ethical standards for the profession, this
article focuses on how to handle predatory clients. Read the first article here
Nearly every female massage therapist — and many male massage therapists — report at
least one incident involving a client who crossed a line. Yet formal reporting remains rare.
Therapists stay silent because they fear not being believed, worry about retaliation from
employers who prioritize client retention over staff safety, or simply don’t know that
reporting is an option. The reported data almost certainly understates the true prevalence.
In reported cases, the majority of the time, the client is a man who wants something sexual
to happen during their massage with a female therapist. There are also some female
predatory clients as well.
Who is this person? Why are they doing something so inappropriate?
Research suggests most sexual predators are emotionally troubled individuals who have
distorted thinking. For the predator, it’s about power and control to dominate, not about
sex. They are good at compartmentalizing, which means they do not consider the
consequences of their actions on others or themselves. Predators are often charming and
skilled at lying and manipulating others. Most predators believe that anyone they find
desirable will be attracted to them. Predators think about sex a lot of the time, and they
seek out potential targets.
Four factors have been identified as features of sexual predators.1
- The ability to have power and control over others
- The belief that they are uniquely attractive
- The capacity for deception
- The ability to compartmentalize – they are aware of what they are doing with no
regard to the consequences.
Grooming
First, predator clients test the boundaries of their chosen therapist to see whether they
have weak boundaries and defenses. Sometimes it starts with a compliment or an
invitation to meet outside of the professional setting. At other times, it’s creepier, with
moaning sexual sounds on the table, the offer of a big tip for doing something more
satisfying, or an explicit ask to massage the “full body”. This is code for “I want something
sexual.”
What happens inside the massage therapist’s mind and body when this overture arrives? It
could be a freezing response, anger, embarrassment, or confusion about what to do. This
is where good training comes in.
A massage therapist has three opportunities to screen out predatory clients: before,
during, and after the session.
The best time to spot a predatory client is during the booking process. Always talk to a new
client on the phone. If you use online booking software, always schedule a screening call
with a new client. Predators prefer anonymous online booking. A client who will not take
your calls and only wants to communicate via messaging is a red flag.
During Booking
During the call, ask why they want a massage, what their goal is, why they chose you or
your business, and what their experience with professional massage has been. The
answers to these questions will usually screen out predatory clients; they don’t want a
professional massage; they want something sexual.
Therapists should also be aware of the coded language predatory clients use when looking
for prostitution and not massage. Some terms include full-body release, full-body
massage, full service, extras, generous, roses, happy ending, and nuru massage. Other red
flags to be aware of include:
- Refusing to provide a last name, address, or phone number
- Insisting on cash payment or asking to be seen “off the books”
- Requesting an after-hours or unusually urgent appointment
- Asking for a photo of the therapist
- Leading the conversation with questions about draping (e.g., “Do I have to use a
sheet?”, “Can I just use a hand towel?”) - Flirting or expressing sexual or romantic interest during the booking call
Other deterrents include requiring clients to submit intake forms in advance, requiring
prepayment by credit card for new clients, and clearly posting a zero-tolerance policy both
online and at the office. Illegitimate establishments rarely do any of these things.
In the Treatment Room
When a predatory client makes it to your office, they rarely begin with explicit misconduct.
They start small and do deniable things: make an off-color comment, deliberately shift the
drape, ask an overly personal question about the therapist’s life. Then they watch the
reaction. If the therapist accommodates, minimizes, or says nothing, they escalate. The
number and intensity of boundary violations increase in proportion to the apparent
tolerance of earlier ones. Addressing a small transgression early is almost always easier
than addressing a larger one later.
In-session red flags include: deliberately removing or kicking off the drape after the
therapist repositions it; drawing attention to sexual arousal or engaging in pelvic
movement; requests designed to guide the therapist toward the genitals (e.g., “can you
work a little lower,” “can you work higher on my inner thigh?”); non-consensual touching of
the therapist; and sexual jokes, explicit requests, or persistently invasive personal
questions.
Addressing this behavior immediately is essential. When something in your gut feels
wrong, trust it. That instinct is not an overreaction. It is a neurologically based signal, and
therapists who routinely override it to avoid awkwardness pay a high price over time.
When you need to act, the Intervention Model developed by Daphne Chellos, MA (a pioneer
in massage and sexual ethics) gives a repeatable, effective framework:
- Stop the treatment. Remove your hands. Make eye contact. Use a firm, grounded
voice — assertive, not aggressive. - Re-drape the client fully. This restores a literal boundary and removes touch as a
stimulus. Do it calmly. - Describe the behavior factually. Name what occurred without editorializing: “I
noticed you’ve shifted the drape twice after I repositioned it.” or “I notice that you
have an erection.” - Clarify intent. Ask a direct question and wait. “Tell me what’s going on.” Don’t
answer for the client. - Respond to what you heard. For a first-time, ambiguous incident, educate:
“Sometimes clients experience arousal as a physiological response to touch. That’s
a normal body response, and it’s never my intent for this session to create sexual
arousal.” For a client who has made their sexual intent clear, end the session. - End the session when necessary. Say something like, “I’m not comfortable with
what’s going on here, and it’s time for you to leave.” Leave the room. Through the
closed door, instruct the client to dress and exit. No further explanation is required. - Secure your exit. Always position yourself between the client and the door. If you
feel physically threatened, leave the room immediately and call 911. No session is
worth your physical safety.2
After the Session
Whether a session ended badly or a pattern of boundary-testing only became clear in
hindsight, document what occurred.
Document immediately. Write down the behavior, your response, the client’s response,
the time, the date, and any witnesses before you end your day. Do not rely on memory. This
documentation is your primary protection if the client later files a retaliatory complaint — a
common response from clients who have been refused.
Notify your employer or manager. If you work for someone else, notify your manager or
supervisor as soon as possible, and definitely before the end of the workday. A written
record of the incident in the employer’s files protects both you and the next therapist who
might encounter the same client. If you work independently, talk to a trusted colleague so
you have a verbal witness to your experience.
Dismiss the client clearly. Therapists have the legal right to refuse or terminate service for
reasons of inappropriate conduct. Declining based on behavior is lawful, and no proof is
required. Keep the dismissal brief and neutral. For clients who have been abusive or
sexually inappropriate, there is, of course, no professional requirement to provide a
referral to another therapist.
If you send a written notice, keep it factual and restrained — and consult a lawyer before
doing so. Here’s a workable template: “The reason I will no longer be providing massage
therapy treatment is due to inappropriate behavior that occurred during your appointment
on [DATE]. This behavior is not acceptable in a therapeutic setting.” Do not over-explain or
apologize.
Block the client from rebooking and notify front desk staff so they aren’t quietly
rescheduled with another practitioner.
Know the right reporting channels. State massage boards regulate massage therapist
licensees — not clients. Your state board is not the appropriate place to file an assault
complaint. For client misconduct, the correct authorities are: the police for solicitation and
assault. Non-consensual touching of the therapist is sexual assault in every U.S.
jurisdiction. The state attorney’s office can also prosecute solicitation. These are crimes,
not policy violations, and they should be reported accordingly. Reporting requires
therapists to clearly put into words exactly what happened, which can be difficult if the
incident is traumatizing or ambiguous. This method places a lot of trust in the justice
system. Unless it’s a case of rape, police documentation practices (keeping a reported
client’s name on file) cannot always be counted on. Additionally, lesser types of sexual
assault might not be taken as seriously. Police need further training on the nature and
frequency of these incidents so they can respond appropriately to reports from legitimate
massage therapists.
Do not name the client publicly on social media. Defamation liability is real, and public
posts rarely stop predatory behavior while often creating legal exposure for the therapist.
The Rights You Already Have
The ethics codes governing massage therapy give practitioners far more authority than
many realize. The NCBTMB Standards of Practice require that when a client initiates sexual
behavior, the practitioner must interrupt the session. If the behavior ceases, the
practitioner may, at their own discretion, continue or terminate. The word “discretion” is
significant: no code requires a therapist to give a predatory client a second chance.
The ABMP, AMTA, and most state codes are categorical: practitioners must refrain from
sexual conduct “even if the client attempts to sexualize the relationship.” The moment a
session is sexualized, the therapeutic contract is void.
And even further, one sexual abuse expert suggested the only way to make an impact on
this predatory behavior is to encourage all therapists to report every incident in detail to the
police.
The principle of do no harm — foundational to all manual-therapy ethics — extends to the
therapist’s safety. Ethics educators and professional associations are unambiguous:
massage therapists are entitled to a workplace free of sexual harassment and abuse and
have the right to make themselves safe and report abusers. Tolerating misconduct to
preserve income is not professionalism. By the field’s standards, it is an ethical failure.
What the Industry Still Needs to Do
Individual therapists should not be managing this problem alone. Responsible employers
should post and enforce written zero-tolerance policies, train staff on screening and
intervention, and make clear that therapists have an unconditional right to end any session
without fear of retaliation.
In fact, if your employer (with 15 or more employees) refuses to address predatory clients
or retaliates against you, you might be working in a hostile or offensive work environment,
which is illegal across the United States.2
Physical deterrents matter too. The “Attention Button” — piloted by Hand & Stone and
produced by BEC Integrated Solutions — summons front-desk staff to a treatment room
within 15 to 20 seconds of activation. Locations that deployed it reported measurable
reductions in client misconduct incidents.
When evaluating a potential employer, ask directly: What is your policy if a client behaves
inappropriately toward a therapist? Can a therapist end a session without management
approval? An employer who minimizes the question or doesn’t answer it to your
satisfaction is telling you something important about how they will respond when the
situation is real.
Priscilla Fleming, massage therapist, author, and teacher, writes so well about stigma in
the massage field that we would like to quote her here.
Stigma in the Massage Field
Massage related to sexuality has been around for centuries; in fact, ancient Greek doctors
used to prescribe it as part of health care. Erotic massage has since moved away from the
realm of health care and is illegal in most places. (It is legal only where prostitution is legal,
such as in certain areas within Nevada in the U.S.) The term “happy ending” was born in
1999 when a Weekend Australian article described massage parlors as giving “guaranteed
happy endings,” in reference to orgasm.
That happy-ending stigma lives on in pop culture today. We often see the trope associated
with massage therapists in movies, TV shows, and other forms of media. As a society, when
we discuss massage therapy, we often hear jokes about happy endings; however, these
jokes are not harmless.
Establishments that engage in illicit sexual services and offer happy endings (i.e.,
prostitution) are often engaging in human trafficking. These jokes, and the frequenting of
these institutions, contribute to modern-day slavery and put a lot of lives—both the people
trafficked and legitimate massage therapists—in danger. Human trafficking is usually an
aspect of organized crime syndicates, according to the International Criminal Police
Organization.
According to the Polaris Project, a social justice movement fighting sex and labor
trafficking, illicit fronts claiming to be massage businesses are among the most common
venues for sex trafficking. In the U.S., sex trafficking is a $32 billion industry. There are
estimated to be 9,000 active trafficking organizations disguised as massage parlors today,
according to the Polaris Project.4
Conclusion
This framework — screen before they arrive, intervene while they’re in the treatment room,
dismiss and document after the session — is not complicated. But it requires preparation:
knowing the code words, rehearsing the scripts, and understanding that every professional
and legal right needed to act is already in place. The ethics codes don’t ask therapists to
tolerate harassment. They prohibit it.
Ending a session with a predatory client is not a failure of professionalism. It is not an
overreaction. It is, in the most precise terms the field offers, doing no harm.
We hope that this article serves as a call to attention against this widespread, systemic
issue that disproportionately affects female therapists in the industry. If you have
additional ideas on how to combat predatory clients at the industry level, we encourage
you to reach out to us through our website’s contact form.
Did you like the article? Or did you like taking part of the World Championship in Massage or one of our classes, then please feel free to give us a nice review on Google.
Associated Resources:
ABMP’s CE course “Ethics: Create a Zero-Tolerance Practice” with Joyce Gauthier
(https://www.abmp.com/learn/course/ethics-create-zero-tolerance-practice), Ben
Benjamin’s “Ethics: Preventing Sexual Misconduct”
(https://www.abmp.com/learn/course/ethics-preventing-sexual-misconduct-massage-
therapy), and Priscilla Fleming’s “Safety and Solicitation”
(https://nielasher.com/products/ethics-safety-and-solicitation) are all NCBTMB-approved
and widely available online
Sidebar: Research Highlights:
According to a September 15, 2026, Facebook poll on the Massage Therapy Nexus, of 155
respondents, 123, reported at least one request (and several respondents reported as
many as dozens) for a sexual service or an inappropriate incident on the table (groping,
exposure, erections, etc.) Only 32 reported zero. Requests came far more often by phone
and text than in person, and spanned every level of experience – from second-year
therapists to 40-plus-year veterans.
Two studies have been done in Canada. They address the need to better understand the
rates and nature of Canadian massage therapists’ experiences of sexual harassment and
assault in the workplace. This data provides a vital window into the professional
challenges and safety concerns facing the massage therapy
community everywhere today.
From 2021-2022, the Canadian Massage Therapist Alliance and the University of New
Brunswick conducted the Sexual Harassment and Assault of Canadian Massage
Therapists study.
The most recent study, in September 2025, was conducted by the Registered Massage
Therapists’ Association of Ontario (RMTAO). This study surveyed 2,495 Registered Massage
Therapists and students in Ontario about their experiences with sexual harassment and
assault.
Respondents were primarily women. Nearly three-quarters of respondents reported
experiencing sexual harassment during their training or practice, most often verbal,
followed by physical, phone, and online harassment.
21% of respondents reported experiencing sexual assault. Among those assaulted,
physical assault was most common (89%), followed by verbal assault (53%), 65%
experienced between 1 and 3 assaults, while 12% reported ten or more.
Many reported lasting effects from the incident(s), including changed interactions with
patients, students, or instructors, increased stress or anxiety, consideration of leaving the
profession, and a need for mental health support.
A National Study on U.S. Massage Therapists’ Experiences of Sexual Harassment and
Assault by Clients is being conducted now, and the results will be published in early 2027.
The Massage Ethics Council was founded in 2023 to offer guidance in establishing clear,
ethical standards of care for the massage industry. Council members Laura Allen, Ben
Benjamin, Beverley Giroud, Nathan Nordstrom, and Cherie Sohnen-Moe have more than
150 years of combined experience in teaching, writing, and consulting on ethical issues in
the massage field. Their website for “The Prevention of Sexual Misconduct and Assault in
Massage Therapy” is: https://themassageethicscouncil.com
1Inside the Criminal Mind: The Thinking Processes of Sexual Predators, by Stanton E. Samenow, Ph.D.
2 Ben E. Benjamin and Cherie Sohnen-Moe, The Ethics of Touch, 3rd ed. (SohnenMoe Associates, 2003), 149-
51.
3US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, “Sexual Harassment,” accessed October 2026,
www.eeoc.gov/sexual-harassment.
4 Priscilla Fleming, Niel Asher Continuing Education, “Safety and Solicitation,”
https://nielasher.com/products/ethics-safety-and-solicitation.
